Can you feel the pain inside sometimes in my mind?
In the land of loneliness the seas of blood run cold
Is the feeling lost inside within the sins of all mankind?
Time after time we stood united on we go
Fly far away don't let the world pass you by?
Live for the day when we must stand and survive
Now we face the judgment day our souls will feel the pain
Hear the screams of my world through the rain
Silent fields of despair my tears in the rain
Pain in my heart bleeding through
One day we'll be back for one moment in time
Endlessly searching for you...
Who can cure my emptiness inside for this time?
Suffering from loneliness my dreams and hopes will die
No more feelings left inside my blackened heart I cannot hide
Time after time our souls divided on we cry
Fly far away don't leave your own past behind
Live for the day another year passes by
Now we turn to face our fear there's nothing more to say
Still your dreams and my nightmares remain
The Prophecy
As darkness claims all light
Leaving the land in Eternal Night
Amidst the dead and innocent cries
Only then The Chosen One shall rise
Enter thy world but fear not
I walked through the darkness and shadows, I've fought
So open your hearts and open your minds
For inside, only knowledge will you find...
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
12:00 pm
What do I do to ignore what's behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride away from these bad dreams
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I let it go and try to stand it?
Or do I try to catch them red handed?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?
Cause I cant hold when I'm strecthed so thin
I make the right moves but I’m lost within
I put on my daily facade but then
I just end up getting hurt again by myself
If I turn my back I’m defenseless
And to go blindly seems senseless
If I hide my pride and let it all go on then they’ll
Take from me till everything is gone
If I let them go I’ll be outdone
But if I try to catch them I’ll be outrun
If I’m killed by the questions like a cancer
Then I’ll be buried in the silence of the answer by myself
How do you think I’ve lost so much
I’m so afraid that I’m out of touch
How do you expect I will know what to do
When all I know is what you tell me to
Don't you know
I can't tell you how to make it go
No matter what I do, how hard I try
I just cant seem to convince myself why
I'm stuck on the outside...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Been dormant from blogging for these pass few days...erm...weeks. Was too busy wih kinda some stuffs. Though mostly was because I was kinda lazy to blog. Before this I've opened my blogger quite a few times (I'm using cross-posting, you see) but ended up closing it back cos I'm fresh put of ideas to post a meaningful...post. Well, see, there's loads of things which are somewhat bugging me right now. One of themis well, what I saw during Marshall Duty at Tampines Stadium. I was posted to jaga at the main entrance, which is coincidentally beside the Tampines Rovers home fans area. And throughout the match I saw Matreps, Minahreps, Mak Nyahs and of course, the infamous Cheerleaders-Tak-Menjadi...all in one area. And the thing that bugs me most is that ALL OF THEM ARE MALAYS.Yes, I should have been used to it by now looking that these Matrep and Minahrep epidemic is widespread here that its almost everywhere. And the bad thing is, they think they look good wearing like they do. Which means that a) They're blind or b) They have bad fashion taste or c) All of the above. Yeah, maybe o them, they really look good and after all, its all a question of taste, but when the whole world is laughing at what you're wearing, wouldn't it have hit your thick head that something is wrong??And their attitudes. Ok fine, its a stadium and a football match, meaning that expletives are widespread there (remember the famous B*** chant at Kallang?). But come on, there's limits. You're not being a fan if you're throwing expletives every few minutes or so just so that your friends think that you're funny or whatsoever. You're just being a nuisance. Oh wait, you already are.For the whole match, I just stood rooted there and face the pitch, cos I don;t want to get sore eyes by looking at them. Then, felt someone placing his hand on my shoulders and I turned, only to find myself face-to-face with Steven Tan. For those of you who don't know who Steven Tan is, he was a former international during Fandi Ahmad's era. A true legend, like Fandi himself, and not a phony legend like Baihakki Khaizan or Sharil Ishak or Khairul Amri (oh wait, Khairul IS a legend already). Steven Tan helped Singapore won the Malaysia Cup. What did Baihakki and Shahril do? Baihakki, who's defending skills, even if I were to say his defending skills are 1/4 of Aide's, its being too good to him. During the AFC Final, Baihakki and Shahril was a bystander in the match, and was largely unnoticed up to the point where Lionel Lewis cleared the ball only ofr the ball to go straight to Baihakki and hit his head hard. And after that, I saw Lionel gesturing wildly at him, probably angry at him for being and idiot and standing in front of someone trying to clear the ball.The other thing thats bugging me is well, the fact that some of my friends have been sort of emoing about their problems. And when I say emoing, I don't mean sitting by the beach or something cos there is totally nothing wrong in that, unless you into the water and drown yourself that is. What I'm referring to as emoing is the fact that some people mutilate themselves or overdose themselves with drugs (i'm not referring to anyone in particular here). I have absolutely no bloody idea why people like to do that. Some of those whom I asked why they do that claims they liked the feeling of adrenaline rushing through and thus, deflecting their thoughts from their problems.In other words, they're running away from their problems. Which is a stupid thing to do in my opinion. You can't run away from your problems. They'll just come after you. They're like wild dogs. Run away from them and the wild dogs won't respect you and chase after you like hell. Stand your ground and give them a good kick instead. You'll find that they'll just leave you alone after that.My point is work through your problems, don't run away from them. Nothing is thoroughly undoable. Its all in your head. Hell, I know this cos I've been through all these. But I went through it and emerge stronger than ever before.Picture a boy, lost in a world of hatred and pain. He wanders around not knowing how he got there when only a few minutes before, he was in a world of love and joy. It all came apart in one smooth move and here he is, wandering in a desolate place devoid of any colours nor happiness. As he wanders, he hears whispers in the dark. telling him that it is too late for him. That this is the end. But he is not to be hindered by tell-tale ghost whisperings. He wanders on till he came across a large broken glass mirror, whose broken fragments lies in a million pieces on the floor, glittering. Without thinking, without knowing why, the boy picked up a piece and placed it back. Somehow, in his heart (or what remains of it) he knows that he have to do this to get out of this place. He picked another and placed it back. The glass cuts into his skin but he went on, undettered by the pain.The whisperings became louder as he went. Louder and more vulgar, telling him to stop, telling him to give it up and somehow, intensifying the pain of the glass cutting. But he persevered on, not giving up despite the horrendous pain in his hands as every piece of glass takes away some of his blood. When he had put back almost half of the mirror, he made a fatal mistake. A mistake that caused all of the pieces to break apart yet again.The boy fell. Lying on the ground amidst the broken fragments, wondering what he did wrong, and what he did to deserve it. And that time, at that place, he almost gave up. Almost submit to the whisperings. It berrated him of his idiocy for trying to fix the mirror when it will just break again. The boy's defences are down. He did not saw this coming and it hit him..hard. His thoughts, his feelings turn cold, as cold as the whisperings themselves. But the whisperings could not touch one part of him. His HEART. For it is in there where his FAITH lies. And somehow, the flame of his faith was not put off by the whisperings.His faith relighted the HOPE in him and with hope, came LOVE. The boy stood back up, and with great resolve, defy the whisperings yet again. The whisperings became louder, more vulgar yet again and the pain sharpens. But this time, the boy was prepared for it. He faced the pain, but this time, not to fight it...but to embrace it. Pain and Love, one cannot exist without the other. And to embrace one, one has to embrace the other. He made pain his ally and he started working yet again. The whisperings intensify, trying to put him off his stride and intensify the pain, but the boy feels no pain, for to him, pain is only a distraction, and also a fuel to give him more resolve to finish the task before him. Soon, he was left with only a few pieces, and the whisperings are at its loudest. But the boy will not be broken. He refuse to be broken...Pain and love, one cannot exist without the other
To embrace one, you must embrace the other
- There is no emotion, there is peace.
- There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
- Through knowledge I gain strength
- Through strength, I gain power
- Through power, I gain victory
- And victory shall set me free
Remember, when all else fails, Faith, Hope and Love will pull you through everytime
Well, it does for me
=)
Confianza Esperanza Amor
___~Why do I even bother...
